This Much I Know
I looked up and saw your face
The most handsome man in the contest
Dark skin and big brown eyes
A long narrow nose and a crooked grin
You looked so tall
You looked so strong
You were my hero
What the hell did I know?
I thought you were good
I thought you were kind
Always helping the neighbors
And friends were never scarce
You threw the most elaborate parties
Barbecues every weekend
And people said we were lucky
What the hell did they know?
Daddy's little girl
I always wanted to be
But as I grew older
And I looked straight at your face
I saw something else
You were not the man I thought you were
You were not heroic and you were not kind
How the hell did I not know?
Always angry
Always yelling
You were mean
You were harsh
You made mom cry
And it made me cry
And all the time you claimed you were right
What the hell did you know?
You were supposed to be my hero
You were supposed to teach me
About myself, about life
About boys, and how they should treat me
But most importantly
You were supposed to teach me how to love
That is a parent's job
But what the hell do you know about love?
You don't know how to love
And you don't expect that I know either
Well, I've got news for you: I'm better than you
I don't look to you for any of that anymore
Because I know that you are incapable of it
You are stunted
And I feel sorry for you
It's sad to know what I know.
I tried to talk
I tried to smile
Through all the humiliation
Through all the pain
I tried to bring you back into my life
And all you've ever done is push me away
I'm leaving you now, I understand
And I know... I know that you just won't love me.
