This is my rant
I have to let it out
I can’t believe how fucking stupid I’m being
For even giving this a moment’s thought.
It’s been a lot of fucking years
Since the first time you and I met
To tell you the truth,
I don’t even remember how it happened
I made myself forget.
You came off as such a catch at first
On paper you sounded great
Good job, responsible, blah, blah, blah…
And then I noticed the hornet tattoo.
Just a hint of bad boy to add a twist to the resume
Should’ve known it was a sign
A foreboding of bullshit to come
A prick. That’s what it meant. I should’ve seen it then.
You put me through so much crap
Girls, girls, girls, left and right
And the whole time, you said you wanted me
You were such a fucking liar
And I was such a fucking stupid-ass
For believing you, for wanting to believe you
Even just a tiny bit.
You dragged my heart around
You tossed it in the air without a fucking care
Always playing your game
While I continued to be honest and real.
For what???
For a refusal to even acknowledge what we were?
I wasn’t even worth that fucking much to you!
Maybe it was because no matter what,
I never allowed myself
To be completely fooled by you
To give into you.
Maybe it was because no matter what,
No matter how much I wanted to believe
That someone cared, that someone would love me,
I knew deep down inside
That you.
Were nothing.
But a player.
A man just like too many others.
I didn’t want to be another one on your list
Another wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.
I can say that much for myself.
I was never completely stupid.
And it’s a good thing
Because apparently, you were.
You were SO stupid
In fucking up a good thing
With a good girl
Who would have never done anything
To hurt you
To disrespect you.
Instead you went with another one
And let’s be honest, we both know she was inferior
Although you didn’t see it then
But you see it now…
Now.
Now that life has turned around
And kicked you in the balls.
Now you see, what a huge difference
There was between her and me.
Now you come back
And you want "coffee"
And you want to “talk”
And you want to be “friends”
And you say that you’ve changed
And you want to prove it to me
And you even ask me to fly
And meet you in exotic places.
Porque I like you and me gusta hablar contigo.
But I’m not the same stupid girl I was those years ago.
I see. I see what you’re doing.
I see the girls. I see the same pattern.
I see
That no matter what,
No matter how much the universe tries to teach you
The difference between right and wrong
That you should just quit your bullshit games
You’re just never gonna change.
I’m not here to be your pity prize.
I’m not here for you to pick up
Whenever you feel like you need a toy to make you feel better.
I am a woman.
I am a good woman.
I require more than what you could ever give me.
I want…
No. I need someone who will see me
And know from the get-go
That I am one who needs to be taken care of
Not because I can’t take care of myself,
But because I have value
And because he knows
That he has value, too.
That’s something you still don’t get.
That no matter how much you’ve fucked up in the past,
You can always start anew and turn your life around
Because no matter who you are, you are valuable
But not until you give yourself some worth,
Which you, my friend, have not yet done.
Peace out!
