New Flarf Poem. Untitled As of Yet.

Into the stillness
Of the forest
I moved

Unexpectedly
I see
Emerging from an
Enormous 
Tree trunk
A wild one
Brown
Muscled
His face fierce
Black eyes
A window

Stunned
We looked 
At each other
Eyes locked
A sudden blow
Emptied our lungs
Two lovers
Or deadly enemies

Alert
He rose
Long
Shaggy
A look I'd never seen

There
Was he

We drop 
Into
A black hole
The world 
A dot

WE CAN'T BREATHE

A swelling anger

A feeling of helplessness

I want to scream

I see them

In their riot gear

They push people away

They beat them with clubs

Light, fire, it flies at crowds

Students

They fight for their ideal world

They hold together

As adrenaline, 
Testosterone, 
And power runs them over

With their gas masks

With their metal stars

Their macho mustaches

And condescending smirks

MOVE!!!

MOVE!!!

MOVE!!!

They attack the crowds of angry idealists

They’re angry

Yes, they’re angry

Because a young black kid

Shouldn’t have to be afraid

Of accidentally walking 

Into one of the people 

That are supposed to be protecting him

Because a teacher should never have to break

The news of a student gone

And his classmates’ innocence with it

Because a mother

Should never have to be put

In the position to be thankful

That her children did not inherit

Her beautiful dark skin

She should not have

To cry herself to sleep

Over the pain, the guilt, the anger, 

At the sense of relief

MOVE!!!

MOVE!!!

MOVE!!!

They’re White

They’re Asian

They're Latino

They’re Black

Equal opportunity assholery

They attack

WHO DO YOU PROTECT?

They protect no one

WHO DO YOU PROTECT?

They attack the people

That they’re sworn to protect

Equal opportunity military response

Against those who dare ask questions

Light, fire, it flies at the crowds

Gas

It chokes

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

Your system is choking them

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

Your system robs us all of breath

Of life

Of liberty

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

WE CAN’T BREATHE!!!

Within this system.

Well,…

FUCK YOUR SYSTEM.

We are not helpless. 
We stand together.
The world is watching. 

-Marisol Tena

December 9th, 2014

2 a.m. Stream of Consciousness

2 a.m. anxiety
Thinking, thinking
Try to keep busy
School starts soon
The future looms.

Returns, returns
Pending returns
What awaits is uncertain.

Home
What is that? 

Must stay busy
Youtube
Buzzfeed
"Epic Road Trips"
Mind is wandering
Epic plane trips
Spain? China? Turkey? Venezuela?

Snap back 
Home
Where is that? 
Gloomy sunshine
Where is home?

Thinking, thinking
Must stay busy

Korea
No. Not Korea, Waygook!
America
No. Not America, Brown Girl!
Mexico!
No. Not Mexico, Pocha! 

Pending returns
No one will understand
Me
Loneliest of feelings
Home
No one will understand

"She's back!"
No, she's not. 
She's gone. 
But no one will understand.

Loneliest of feelings. 

Memories
Chaotic rush of Beijing traffic...
Limpy strolls through Taipei alleys...
Roasty bliss of Bali coffee...
Geishas provoking through fans in Kyoto...
Ladyboys and spicy breeze of Phuket...

Pending returns
No one will understand
Loneliest of feelings

Highs
Lows
Joys
Sorrows
Lovers
Heartbreaks

She won't return.
She's gone.
I'm here.

No one will understand
Take my hand and run with me
Home.


-Marisol Tena
(9/15/14)

Well-marked path on the ground. 
Back and forth, 
Strike, block, strike, kick. 
Strike, block, strike, kick. 
Back and forth, back and forth. 
Magical, mystical forrest, 
Steam rising from the ground 
In swirls smelling of rich earth. 
Strike, block, strike, kick. 
Walk slowly. 
Don't let them know. 
Strike, block, strike, kick. 
Walk slowly. 
Heel, step down, forward, backward, turn, 
Heel. 
Walk slowly. 
Earth worms. 
Mosquitos. 
Everywhere. 
Ignore them, 
You don't feel them. 
Walk slowly. 
Don't let them know 
Before you strike, block, strike, kick.

Blurr

The evening's aglow
In yellow, fading to orange
Pink and purple clouds
Mountains lie like giants
Green and great
Embracing the sky 
Allowing the darkness to surround
Knowing that light is always
Just a matter of waiting.

Cities shimmer and glimmer past
Buildings, tall
All alike,
Refusing change,
All made more beautiful
By lack of sight.

Glow. Glow.
They all seem to glow.
Yellow, orange, red, red, red.
Colorful polkadots
Like 70's art.
That's all they are.

Like 70's kitchen art.

Darkness comes.
I'm just a passenger on this ride.
No sight of what's ahead.
I cannot see, I cannot see
But blurry lights in all directions.

-Marisol Tena
6/23/13

Fernando

Driving on my way to get my fix. Chilly night. Expensive addiction.
Grande Caramel Macchiato, then off to experiment with an expensive new gadget.

Driving down the street. A sea of lights. Cars. Traffic stops.
And then some flashy yellow lights to my right.
I look over. There's a man holding a big sign on the sidewalk.

**Insurance**

His face looks familiar. Average height. Stocky build. Fourty-something.
Wind breaker jacket, boots, and a cowboy hat.

**Insurance**

That is his job. But he does not sell it. He does not process paperwork.
He leads people to it.

In this city, independent city, proud city, city of Latinos, city of esfuerzo and big dreams,
He stands by the street and flashes his sign on San Fernando.

**Insurance**

I know then that I've seen this man's face before.
I've seen it in my father.
I've seen it in my uncle.
I've seen it in my neighbors
And countless other men who I encountered growing up.

His face is the face of struggle.
The face of a man down on his luck
With a family to feed and a shitty job that doesn't pay enough.
But hey, algo es algo.

In this split second, as I drive by him, I have to fight the urge
To stop and give him a little something extra.
But I dare not do it. I would not offend him.
He is not a beggar. He may not make much, pero es trabajo honrado.

What to do? What to do? I never know.
All I can do is quietly wish him good luck
And remember that the struggle isn't forever.

This Much I Know

This is one of my old poems from 8/27/07...

This Much I Know

I looked up and saw your face

The most handsome man in the contest

Dark skin and big brown eyes

A long narrow nose and a crooked grin

You looked so tall

You looked so strong

You were my hero

What the hell did I know?

I thought you were good

I thought you were kind

Always helping the neighbors

And friends were never scarce

You threw the most elaborate parties

Barbecues every weekend

And people said we were lucky

What the hell did they know?

Daddy's little girl

I always wanted to be

But as I grew older

And I looked straight at your face

I saw something else

You were not the man I thought you were

You were not heroic and you were not kind

How the hell did I not know?

Always angry

Always yelling

You were mean

You were harsh

You made mom cry

And it made me cry

And all the time you claimed you were right

What the hell did you know?

You were supposed to be my hero

You were supposed to teach me

About myself, about life

About boys, and how they should treat me

But most importantly

You were supposed to teach me how to love

That is a parent's job

But what the hell do you know about love?

You don't know how to love

And you don't expect that I know either

Well, I've got news for you: I'm better than you

I don't look to you for any of that anymore

Because I know that you are incapable of it

You are stunted

And I feel sorry for you

It's sad to know what I know.

I tried to talk

I tried to smile

Through all the humiliation

Through all the pain

I tried to bring you back into my life

And all you've ever done is push me away

I'm leaving you now, I understand

And I know... I know that you just won't love me.